It’s normal to get triggered in relationships. If we’re interacting with each other and allowing ourselves to be vulnerable, our feathers will get ruffled from time to time.
It’s helpful to understand how you normally react to triggers so that you can see where you’re starting from and what kind of unconscious behaviors emerge. For me, when I get triggered there’s almost always some kind of physical sensation in the body that indicates to me that I feel threatened, scared, or vulnerable. A tight jaw; a pit in my stomach; or a feeling of hurt in my chest.
Pretty quickly, this is usually followed by a whole stream of judgmental thoughts either about myself or the other person, or both. The inner talk is usually not very evolved and focuses a lot on blaming someone, myself or the other, for feeling bad. It’s amazing how much this scenario can repeat itself if I just go on automatic pilot. It’s a reactive state and one that will keep perpetuating itself if you let it.
But lately, I’ve been trying to work with my triggers so I can use them as launchpads for getting more information about my own unconscious. The whole process has actually been quite empowering. And though it may not always be easy to choose this process in the heat of the moment, once I do activate it, it’s really very simple. Here’s what I’ve been doing to turn my triggers into triumphs.
For me personally, it’s also been helpful to understand that for a long time I held on to certain trigger responses because they gave me further “proof” for the story I was telling myself. “See, I’m always going to get hurt if I open up.” “See, you can’t trust others.” And so on and so on.
If this sounds familiar to you, you may want to look at what story you’re feeding by holding on to your trigger response. And ask yourself, is this the story I want to keep affirming? If not, start thinking about the new story you want to have. That vision may help loosen the grip of your old triggers.
Happy day dear ones!
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